I don’t recall this precocious nonsense.
But this is a classic. Sort of.
Well, a group of fun-loving youngsters from the early 80s obviously did, and set four ITV commercial theme tunes (including the above) to music strongly reminiscent of the winsome, flat girly vocal style that Girls At Our Best got so much mileage out of, and debuted it on Walters’ Weekly, much to JP’s chagrin (he remarked, ‘Why didn’t I think of it?’): the resultant session was subsequently broadcast on the Peel Show in October 1982. He pointedly did not give the titles of the songs Kirsty, Effy, Bernie and Allan warbled in four one minute (or so) bursts, so as not to be accused of the felony perpetrated so memorably by Alan Partridge. Even the great Ken Garner wasn’t sure whether it was actually transmitted, as the session sheet was sternly inscribed ‘not to be broadcast’. However, the contrary evidence is here for your delight.
You may smirk, you may snicker (no pun intended), but this I believe to be as subversive in its own way as ‘God Save The Queen’, with its flagrant disregard for BBC rules and po-faced celebration of tunes we must all have heard a hundred times. The band have vanished into the mists of time since then, but since this session came out, fleetingly appeared with their ‘megamix’ of the Weetabix and Bran Flakes themes on the Kamera compilation The Whip, which may or may not still be around on the 1993 CD reissue, and was produced by none other than…wait for it…Captain Sensible! Well, maybe not that much of a surprise. I can guarantee you’ll be humming these tunes long after the downloads have nestled into your ‘My Music’ folder. Altogether now, ‘It’s good rich and thick/A milk chocolate brick/Each bite a chunky big mouthful.’ Marvellous.
Short Commercial Break, Peel Session 1982-08-18